Grief Stricken to a Mended Heart
Hi I’m Chrissy Anne. This is my loss story….
"On November 14th, 2011, I held his 4lb body in my arms..."
My first child, a baby boy named Carter was born still at 38 weeks. On November 14th, 2011, I held his 4lb body in my arms, never had taken his first breath.
I found myself face to face with two choices. Blindly spiral downward into old patterns of substance abuse, shopping addiction, and working too much. A kind of existence where I relied on others to tell me how to live. And how to grieve the loss of my baby.
"I allowed my heart to lead the way through sorrow."
I could give the reigns over to my shattered heart, and build myself up off the floor, healing one shard at a time.
From the moment the words “I’m sorry” slipped from the mouth of the fetal specialist, I choose the latter. I allowed my heart to lead the way through sorrow.
It held my hand as I surrendered to grief. Praying to anything that could hear me. Throwing anger into air. Confessing my deepest pain on paper cause it didn’t try to fix me.
My heart swaddled me as I wept endlessly through the emptiness of my own arms, the quietness of the house and the loneliness of despair.
After honouring countless waves of grief to shore, my heart began rewarding me with moments of pure joy. At first, it felt strange, wrong even.
It’s like the more I fully felt what I was feeling no matter the emotion, the more room there was for joy to enter. I began to see the world through a new lense, unveiling its love, support and guidance it has for you and me. This is where my grieving took a turn I wasn’t expecting.
A happy one. A soulful joy that fulfills me. I laugh and play with my two daughters with happiness in my heart. Every morning is greeted with the possibility of something great happening today. I stand tall in knowing what is right for me in all that I encounter.
Yes, I miss my son but it’s with happiness in my heart. He is now my hope in my dark days. Showing up in blue jays, spiders, and random misplaced hearts.
There is another side to grief, and this is what drives my desire to help you.
I’ve since resigned my Chartered Accountancy. Studied fiercely obtaining solid knowledge on how to teach you to arrive at this greater joy I found after loss.:
Neuro Linguistic Programming, Master Level ® with Natacha Thebeau, founder of Atlantic NLP;
Grief Recovery Method ® with John W. James founder of the Grief Recovery Institute;
ThetaHealing with Denise Carson of Source Power Healing;
Autopoetic Facilitator certification program with Spiritual Coach and Hay House Author, Anne Bérubé, Ph.D.