Grief at a Glance

 
 
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F.E.A.R 
Face Everything And Rise

"I'm sorry" hung in the air. The fetal specialist paralyzed the room with the news of our baby boy's stillbirth.

I locked eyes with my husband. Soul to soul. "Don't leave me. I am facing this head on. I need you." For the first time ever, FEAR had no voice. There was a knowing the only option was to be a witness to my own pain. To unfold this new life (I didn't ask for) one breath at a time. 
Scared. Yes but the sorrow, despair, agony that emptied my heart was too much to ignore. Fear could not quiet this suffering. 
Little did I know, by facing everything (this sh*tstorm) I would rise to a higher knowledge, greater purpose, divine love, deeper wisdom. 

 
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Like my life depended on it. I drove to the nearest walking trail. Surrounding myself with trees.

Breathing me back to life. I stood there til "I got this" filled every cell of my body.

 
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Do you hide behind a mask people expect you to be? Does that mask change depending on who you are with? Has it blended so much you are unsure of who you really are?

Grieving the loss of my baby boy brought to light how much in fact I was hiding behind this mask. A robot to my environment. No one really knew me. They only knew the mask I showed them.

The removal of the mask is a process, a journey, a tango I have been dancing for years.

Today I head out to a healing with an intention to remove the mask in all I do, in every encounter. With intent to introduce Chrissy Anne to the world and honestly to myself.

Are you willing to take off the mask? Even just a little. Then a little more. Explore who you truly are.